5.16.2007

Time, Time, Time See What's Become of Me?

I like to throw in the musical references every now and again.....

Can someone please tell me what the hell happened? Last week, I could swear was Christmas and all of the sudden we're almost at Memorial Day. Is there a rip in the time-space continuum or something? How the heck does time fly so fast?

Like many busy professionals (being newly married doesn't help either), we constantly feel like there is never enough time. We recently spent the weekend catching up with different groups of friends we haven't seen in ages and we always have the same discussion, "What's up? Gosh, you've been so busy!" To plan a "catch-up" dinner, coffee - hell, even phone call - requires making an appointment about 2 months in advance. Just last night I finally got out to Oakland to see my friend's new baby - a "casual get together" I put on my calendar the week after she was born. She's 7 weeks old now.

All of this makes me reminisce about two summers spent in Italy growing up at ages 11 and 15. I lived, laughed, and stumbled over my novice Italian speaking skills with cousins and relatives in a small summer town outside Bari, called Quasano. Bari isn't that big to begin with as far as "cities" go but come summer, everyone from certain outlying burbs heads to their Quasano summer home. There, attached stone "bungalows" provided cool relief from the scorching Southern Italian heat. Everyone's home is about a 5 second walk off of the village square, which consisted of a 10 pew church on one end and a general store serving killer focaccia at the other - all surrounded by a leafy tree perimeter of about 25 meters in depth. Like spokes on a wheel, everything was pulled to this hub. There was a country club with Olympic size pool on one side of town and that seemed "far" - about a 2 minute bike ride away.

When you're 11, a quaint scene like this can be both good and bad, depending on how active your imagination is. We spent carefree days running, riding vespas, playing soccer, eating ice cream and swimming. Nights brought more of the same, since no one had to eat dinner until 10 pm. But what I remember most was the nightly neighbor stroll. At around dusk, my great-aunt, her sister and some other older relatives would pull their chairs outside the front door on their small patch of patio and greet passing neighbors walking by for a visit. Some nights when I would join them, I got the unexpected introduction to a 2nd cousin, or someone my Mom knew when she visited as a child ("Oh my Gosh, this is Elizabeth's daughter from America? they would exclaim in Italian). It seemed everyone was either walking to visit someone or sitting out front waiting to be visited. There was no "Wait, let me see......how is Tuesday the 16th? No, I can't do the 18th and Thursdays's I have class. Ugh...we're out of town those 3 days. The 22nd? Oh, you're getting your house painted that day? Hmm.....how about 3 months from Friday then?" It was just a community of friends and neighbors on a nightly stroll (added bonus to squeeze in some exercise) and eventually you come across everyone important in your life.

Now, I never fancied myself the small town girl kind of chick. I don't like everyone in my business and I tend to get bored very easily. But man, I wish life was simpler sometimes and we could just focus on visiting and catching up with those we love: they are what life is about and we shouldn't let what we think is "life" get in the way of that. Even at that young age in Italy, I recognized this sense of hospitality and visiting as something special and unique. I wish it were more common.

Then again, we tend to overcomplicate our own lives. Seriously, I know everyone says this but you CAN drop out of the rat race if you really want to. Many people live simpler lives, support themselves well financially and are quite happy doing so. And even myself, I could maybe try not to sign up for every class, try out for every play, or book every night with an activity. We all need to be okay with just keeping some time open for either doing nothing or reconnecting with loved ones. If even to get a sanity check to help us face another day.