Golden Globes Loses It's Shine

At least for me, it has.

Sunday's Golden Globe awards show was the typical spectacle of glamour, ego and frivolity I come to expect from any beloved award show. I have a relationship with these shows that mimics a bad boy love affair: I know it's bad for me, but I make excuses saying that he's really an artist at heart- and no matter how pompous he acts, I just can't stay away.

Let's start with host Ricky Gervais. Who I adore. Really. But he's getting slammed for his skewering of Hollywood and perhaps going a bit too far. Watching him the other night, my stomach was in delicious knots, just dreading his next comment but sort of wanting to see the train wreck at the same time. Does he call it like it is? Absolutely. Yes, the SATC women are middle-aged; yes, Mel Gibson went on a drunk anti-semitic tirade; Robert Downey Jr. abused drugs. But here's my issue: that type of unexpected snarkiness is funny only when it's precisely that: unexpected. When you purposely hire a host and promote the show as "Tune in: we don't know what will happen!" then you are calculatingly trying to be snarky and funny. Which is fake. It doesn't work. His past performances were so great in that they really were unexpected surprises. When you try to bottle spontaneity and shock, well, you get left with angry people and a so-so performance. What the heck did the HFPA expect?

Second, the awards. Sounds like I must see The Social Network, which will absolutely not be a hard sell for me since I (heart) Aaron Sorkin. I already watch Glee but even though this past season was not as good at the first and I feel they have gone off the rails a bit, I still enjoy it. I also must see The King's Speech and Black Swan. So excited that two of my favorite actors, Colin Firth and Natalie Portman, were honored as well. I'm a little over everyone fawning over Chris Colfer on Glee just because he plays "the gay kid" (his performance on the episode where he came out to his dad was amazing, but I'm tired of the Kurt lovefest every week). However, it is always nice to see a relative unknown realize a dream like winning such an award so good for him. Hurrah for Jane Lynch on Glee wining Best Supporting Actress - she makes that show and her character is so deliciously complex. Jim Parsons from Big Bang Theory is a genius. Love that he won. Have never seen The Big C but love Laura Linney, so hurrah for her. And never had any desire to watch Sons of Anarchy, but apparently Katey Segal won for that. Finally, I about bawled at the end of Toy Story 3 (from the kid who used to name all of her stuffed animals and even taped countless"interviews" with them for an exclusive variety show audience consisting of my family) so I was thrilled it won best animated film.

Third, the speeches. I love finding the eloquent gem in the sea of crap where winners feign humility and shock and then merely spout a list of names of people I don't know. But I came up empty this year. Even Robert DeNiro's funny lines for his Cecil B. Demille award were written for him, it seemed, and so obviously read off of the teleprompter. And Natalie Portman, one of my fave actresses because she's also so brilliantly intelligent, let me down with her rambling speech. The only standout parts for me was 1) when Ricky jokingly blasted Steve Carell for leaving The Office and "sacrificing their cash cow" - and Carell comes out on stage, pushing Ricky out of the way in mock disdain; and 2) when Michael Douglas, recently fighting a battle with throat cancer, came out on stage to an endless round of applause and quipped, "Thanks, but there's got to be an easier way to get a standing ovation!" That was classy. Overall, though this year's lines were kind of "meh."

Fourth, the fashion. OK, this is really the realm of my expert friend Melanie (who has yet to cover it on her blog yet). Some stunners included Natalie Portman (I don't agree with the critics - I thought she looked great in that pale pink number with the rose - very elegant), JLo (again, disagree with the critics), Claire Danes, Scarlett (hair-do aside), Anne, and - I'm sorry, but it's really hard for Angelina Jolie to look bad in anything.

But what was the bondage number that January Jones had going on? That much beauty should not be packaged in something so dreadful. Heidi Klum: What's with the circus tents draped all over you? You are so better than that, my dear. And the amazing Helena Bonham Carter continues to not give a shite about what people think, which I kind of dig about her. But Harry Potter's wardrobe department called and they want the Beatrix LeStrange costume back. Why, oh why, does she insist on that Bride of Frankenstein hair at every event she attends? She is so beautiful. Maybe she's trying to make a point. I didn't understand Julianne Moore's arm sling, and Olivia Wilde's gown was a bit too Disney for me.

So another year, another Golden Globes show. It'll be a challenge for the producers to figure out how to give the show more punch and increase viewership, as rating were a bit flat this year. Glad that's not my job....I can just sit here and snarkily critique it!

Oscar Glam

Did you catch the 81st Annual Academy Awards the other night? I saw most of it - I still can't tell which awards shows are time delayed on the West Coast and which are not. This one did indeed start at 5 or so, Pacific Time so it was live. And I liked it a bit more than the Golden Globes.

My gal pal Melanie has already dissected the fashion on her blog, so won't go too much into that. She puts me to shame with her designer knowledge, so my remarks will be more general and random (as always)

• I was apprehensive about Hugh Jackman as host. He's easy on the eyes and a talented actor (and from what I hear from a director who worked with him, as nice as can be) but I was like WTF?! No comedian this year? Where is Jon Stewart? As my husband says, Stewart as host was the only thing that made the show watchable (for him). But I was impressed with Jackman. He was polished, expedient and, yes, easy on the eyes. And I have to admit, I loved the miusical number he did with Beyonce. One, because I think I'm a but of a sucker for musicals in general and two, I just love anything with Beyonce.
• The format and staging was very interesting. Firstly, they pushed the front row closer to the stage (or the stage closer to the front row); in either case, it made for a more intimate setting (notwithstanding that theatre-in-the-round thing a few years ago), which I believe helped keep things running on time - maybe they got to see the audience getting fidgety a bit better than before. I also enjoyed the way they handed out the awards, sort of in the order of a film project: pre-production awards first, then production, then post production. And they explained the categories very well this year, for those who might not know what "art direction" really is.
• I adored the presentation of the Best Actor and Best Actress awards by 5 past winners, read: legends. What a thrill it would be to receive your award from these folks! And the way each one of them summarized each nominees' performance and were so complimentary - can you imagine being Anne Hathway, being praised by the likes of Shirley MacClaine? Who cares that she didn't win - that was awesome. I hope they keep this tradition for future shows.
• And speaking of this, what deal with the devil did Sophia Loren make to look as good as she does at that age? Probably the same one Helen Mirren signed. Damn.
• I also loved the way they performed the nominees for Best Song. And I'm not just saying that because I love the Slumdog Millionaire soundstrack and that song, "Jai Ho". Okay, maybe I am. But the Indian dancers, the drummers, etc - it was what stage productions were made for. My hubbie downloaded the soundtrack for me on Oscar night and I’ve been jamming to it ever since.
• What was up with Jessica Biel's dress? I was like, did she get TP’d or something? I actually find her quite lovely but she doesn’t really “own” these types of events and show off her beauty. Not sure why.
• I loved "Slumdog Millionaire" and was so excited they cleaned up - and that they flew in the kids (who they flund in Mumbai slums) who played the main characters as children. I think I have a bit of a crush on the star, Dev Patel (I still can’t believe he’s only 19) and I adore the way he wears his excitement and awe all over his face, like his head will implode – same expression at all of these shows, as if he’s a kid in a candy store. Love it.
• And, I bet Warner Brothers is kicking itself for passing on distribution rights to "Slumdog Millionaire" to Fox. Don't know what the skinny on this is, but I bet someone got fired.
• Ben Stiller and Natalie Portman's little comedy routine was just dumb. He looked like an idiot with that beard. I'm just saying.
• Hurrah for Kate Winslet! As I've said before, I just think she's the cat's meow and I would kill for her acting career. I'm so glad she finally got her props.
• I have asbolutely no desire to see "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button." It seems long and drawn out.
• And speaking of Pitt, did anyone else notice the uncomfortable cutting back to the Jolie-Pitts while Jennifer Aniston was presenting? Meow, on the show's director's part. Not cool.
• And again speaking of the Jolie-Pitts, Angie should sport emeralds more often. Paired with her simple black dress, they just made her look stunning. As if she couldn't be stunning in flannel pajamas, but still....
• Comebacks are great and Mickey Rourke has been (from what I hear) deservingly lauded for his role in "The Wrestler" at so many awards shows, but it was nice to see Sean Penn win Best Actor for "Milk" - if only to avoid Mickey's random, obscenity-laced speeches. We get it, Mickey. You're a tough guy with a foul mouth and you're not afraid to use it. I'm over it.

Overall, I thought it was a good show - AND it ended on time (I think it did, anyway). They even had time at the end to show snippets of movies coming out in 2009.