Oscar 2008: A Whole Lot of Yawn....and Red

Only 3 blog posts this month? Egad! Sorry dear readers (reader) but starting a business requires much more time than anticipated. But last night brought us the star-studded bonanza that is Oscar Night. And with the writer's strike becoming a memory, Hollywood came out in full frontal glamour.

First, the event itself. You really can't go wrong in my book having Jon Stewart host anything from the Academy Awards to a Junior High Spelling Bee. His monologue was witty with just the right balance of political and entertainment references and thankfully, he didn't beat us over the head with Writer's Strike jokes, which I had feared. One of his greatest moments was quipping about the historic Democratic race for the White House: "Normally when you see a black man or woman president, an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty. It's the future!" which cracked me up since it was so dead on. Stewart's stock also rose in my book when he allowed the co-winner of best original song to come out after the break and give her Thank You speech after her partner ate up all the time before the Speech Nazi's in the orchestra pit drowned them out. It has to be said that on more occasions than not, the orchestra does a service to helpless viewers everywhere by cutting short the likes of rambling or annoying winners, but sometimes have a heart, man. As my friend Melanie so eloquently put it: "Not that I needed any other reasons to love Jon Stewart but that was quite nice of him to bring her back on stage to say her thank you after stupid Bill Conti and his band of egotists played her off. " Oh, and sassy Mel has started her own blog - finally - to regale the world with her post-Awards show musings. Hurrah!

Secondly, random commentary on the awards and people themselves:

1) Great crop of good movies this year, from what I hear as I have not seen them all and hats off to the Coen Brothers for No Country for Old Men. These guys are geniuses and men of few words. Or at least one of them is. My husband commented they were like Penn and Teller, when one of them talks all the time. The other just said, "Thank you." Given their roster of amazingly unique films over the years, I have no doubt this one delivers. Juno was excellent and I was so happy to see Diablo Cody win for Best Original Screenplay. Her FIRST screenplay. After a career as a stripper. You go girl. Jon Stewart made a great joke about her going from an exotic dancer to a Hollywood writer: "How's that pay cut treating you?" Love Diablo. Loved her lack of a designer gown. Loved the fact the she wore sleeveless so her tattoo was boldly exhibited to the world. I'm all for Hollywood glamour, as we'll discuss later, but I'm also a fan of a woman with chops.

2) This year, the theme was "Actors from Abroad" as Europeans swept the four main acting categories. Nice to see globalization hitting Hollywood. And ya just gotta love acceptance speeches that begin with hesitant broken English and then break into rapid-fire native tongues just because they are short on time and just so damn happy.

3) We had an Oscar competition during the telecast and I won by virtue of every sound and editing award going to "The Bourne Identity." If you want suspense that moves you and a story that never lets you take a breath, but that doesn't require a lot of brain cells, rent it today. It's excellent.

4) We will not see the last of Ellen Page, even though that Marion chick from France won for playing Edith Piaf. Whatever. Juno Rules. And I have a rule to try to see anything that Laura Linney is in. I love her, I want to be her and I hope she wins someday.

5) Tilda Swinton may have looked like death warmed over wrapped in a Hefty bag, but she is a sarcastic chick and I dig that about her. Her speech referencing her admiration for George Clooney donning his Batsuit for the Batman movies "nipples and all" was bizarre but very dry and fun. I could see doing shots in a pub with this one. I have not yet seen "Michael Clayton" but hear it's great and this woman has had a long career of great work going back to "Orlando" so good for her. I saw her at Sundance a few years ago and she's as skinny as my pinky and has twins. I'll have what she's having.

6) Miley Cyrus? Seriously? SERIOUSLY? God, who the heck invited her to present and why and when will her 15 minutes be up? Oh yeah, probably a second after the cast of "High School Musical." Please.

7) In the MIA department: Keira Knightly, the makers of "Atonement" called and thank you for your support even though you weren't nominated and decided to bag it as a "non-event". I hope she was filming or had the flu to excuse not showing up. But James McAvoy, her co-star made it and presented and he's delicious (my husband will only let me say this since he's Scottish as well). Ben Affleck, your brother gets nominated, your wife is presenting, and - for anyone who saw it - was neck-licked by Gary Busey on the Red Carpet to her shock and embarassment. Where the heck were you?

8) In the "Why" department, aside from Miley Cyrus who everyone was confused about: Cameron Diaz presenting? Why? Does she have a new movie coming out or something? And The Rock? I do not get it.

9) Please do not hold the "Enchanted" musical number against Amy Adams. Please. She's better than that and a luminously gifted actress who I adored in "Junebug" a few years ago. She had a film at Sundance this year with Emily Blunt called "Sunshine Cleaning" about two sisters who form a bio-hazard cleaning service (ya know, like to clean up murder scenes and stuff) and I can't wait to see it. It sounds dark and funny and fabulous.

10) Speaking of which....will the Senate be voting on if being exposed to not one, not two, but THREE musical numbers from "Enchanted" counts as torture? I think I know a few folks who might want to opt for waterboarding.

11) Nicole Kidman Urban (Kurdman?) is pregnant but where the heck is she hiding the little thing? It is simply against natural law to be blessed with beauty, height, flawless skin AND the ability to look stunning pregnant.

Thirdly, THE FASHION!

The Carpet was ablaze in red this year and, while not consistently popular, I thought it looked great on so many. Overall, old Hollywood glamour is making a comeback and my Audrey Hepburn-idolizing heart can't get enough of it. Long dresses that fit like gloves, slicked back men's hair, temperate jewels.....it was so dreamy.

Penelope Cruz, Jennifer Garner (I don't care about the haters, I thought she looked great in black), Jessica Alba, Renee Zellweger (the dress - she herself has seen better days), Katherine Heigl (a vision), and Anne Hathaway just wowed. I also would like to know what I need to sacrifice to which God to look like Helen Mirren when I'm 60. How does this woman have a better waist than most women half her age? Sigh....

What I was not so in love with was the HAIR. What happened here? All this time and money spent on fabulous dresses and everyone either went for one of two looks: the "throw your hair in a ponytail after running from the gym" look of Cameron Diaz, Ellen Page, and others; or the "I tried to channel Veronica Lake but just have a chunk of hair in my eye" look of - everyone else except Anne and Penelope. Jennifer Garner, Marion what's her name, even Johnny Depp got a piece of the action. I'm all for escaping romantic tendrils, but there's a line, people.

As for men, I really don't have much to say as they can wear what they want and then people forget it. But George Clooney was classic debonair and handsome, Daniel Day-Lewis looked like he beat up an AMC Theatres movie usher in the bathroom and stole his jacket, and I was happy to see Javiar Bardem has better hair (and is clearly more good looking) than in the trailers for his film. And Jack, we'll keep telling you this and you'll keep not listening but..."Sunglasses in a dark auditorium are not cool. Despite what you've been told, the 'young people' are not wearing them inside. Leave them in the car."

Overall, the show was not racy, unexpected, trashy or emotional. It just WAS. I, unlike many others, love when they show old clips from Oscar's past and you get to see the movie stars of yesteryear. I also like the In Memoriam tribute, or as my husband says, The Parade of Dead People, because we get reminded one more time of many great movie folks who have long been forgotten and who in many cases, blazed a trail. Call me a sentimental old fool, or a morbid voyeur. In any event, dreams were realized last night and as I always say for those who won, its a feeling of achievement in their chosen career that not many people get to experience, so kudos to you. Party hard.

Gladiator 2: The 2007 Emmy Awards

Last night, I actually stayed up until the second to last award of the 2007 Primetime Emmys and then just couldn't do it, as it was running over. I don't usually watch the whole thing end to end - I even indulged this year in the E! Red Carpet special, which I usually need to turn off within 5 minutes or risk vomiting. My friend Melanie's post-award emails on all things awards and fashion (which I would link to if she'd ever put up a blog!) usually do the round-up much better, thank you very much. E! Executives: if for some ungodly reason you are reading this, you must hire this woman right away.

Or check out my friend Kate's scoop at BuzzSugar. She's totally plugged in but actually gets paid for it (sign me UP!)

For a bit of fun, here are some of my own observations on the big event, in no specific order:

1) Overall, I liked that they tried to do something different and I loved the minimal set, but I was not a fan of the round. Presenters coming up from the audience to do their bit? It was like watching a game show. I thought the folding chairs and that aspect didn't give the awards show the glam and poshness I kind of like. But again, applaud them trying to do something different - just felt like I was watching The Weakest Link or something. It was also reminiscent of the Roman Colosseum, so I was just waiting for them to start feeding losing nominees to the lions in an entertaining bloodbath. A bit too Gladiator for my taste.

2) I love, love, love Tina Fey. She's funny, smart, a real woman, not overly glam, still hot, in my age range, and a talented writer. She is one of my idols even though I don't get to watch 30 Rock as much as I'd like (BTW, I laughed out loud at the clip they showed for 30 Rock where she sees Alec Bladwin in a tux and comments about why he's so dressed up, to which he replies, "It's after 6. What am I, a farmer?" Classic.)

3) I used to like Mary-Louise Parker. Until I heard her speak. I think she's hitting some of those drugs she's selling on Weeds or she's just an airheard. Giuliana Rancic on E! was asking her what secrets she had under her dress, meaning how did it fit her so well. MLP was just not getting it, and G had to explain it like 5 times until even she was like, "Well, I was just saying you are very lucky." It was painful. Still, I love watching her in almost anything.

4) I never watch Til Death, but I have to say, I liked Joely Fisher in the yellow Pamela Rolland gown. I thought it looked very pretty. And did you see her faux-jewel encrusted heels? Meow! I would love to go glam pairing those with a pair of dark jeans and a strapless top.

5) Katherine Heigl is just.....perfection. She's talented, beautiful, seemingly nice and polite. She was stunning in that Zac Posen. And as a person who lived with a complex maiden name for many years, I was very impressed with her correcting her name. I mean, come on. Did the announcer not check these things? I'm glad she corrected it so when her nomination came up, they were ready. There is nothing worse then being recogized and someone mis-pronouncing your name. It's extremely disrespectful. So kudos to her.

6) Ali Larter is hot. Has to be said.

7) Both Steve Carell's and Steven Colbert's wives looked fantastic. Good for them. I just love those guys.

8) Robert Duvall is a national treasure and I adore his work. However, he should not be allowed in front of a mike again. I know he's older but he rambled so often, interspersed with glimpses of something profound. It was just painful.

9) I've never watched Brothers and Sisters, but did they really give Sally the award b/c she's the best, or just b/c she's Sally Field? I thought there were better nominees who were more deserving on that one.

10) Ellen Pompeo: was she caught in a wind tunnel? That was absolutely tragic and I would have never paid for that do. Methinks she didn't seem quite nuts about it either, but had to get going or risk being late. But maybe I was just projecting. For such a great actress and a cutie to boot, she is consistently a hair disaster. Why is this? It's not that hard - even a $25 blow out would have looked better.

11) I found myself really enjoying Ryan Seacrest as host in spite of myself. He knew his limitations, but he was well spoken, prepared, and I think one of the only people who could have done well with the theatre-in-the-round set design. He did not seem nervous and I was glad for that. When the host seems nervous, I get nervous for them and it's like waiting to watch a train wreck. Not fun.

12) I've always thought all of the Desperate Housewives are way too skinny and gaunt. They ALL have concave chests and appear a bit too skeletal for my taste (except for Eva, who is a bit curvier). They look like they are on a gin and cigarettes diet or something. Beauty over 40 does not have to mean starvation, ladies. Please. Call Helen Mirren or Glenn Close if you need some advice.

13) There is always a fine balance between just doing all the awards back to back, vs. having too many filler numbers. I thought it took a bit too long to get to the awards at the start, but maybe that is because I hate Ray Romano. But give me more of Carell, Stewart, and Colbert any day. I would love to spend a road trip with those guys, they are hysterically good fun.

14) Can't wait to check out Current.com but am I the only one who gets the irony of Al Gore helping to launch an internet channel devoted to the freedom of personal expression among young filmmakers when his wife Tipper tried to censor "questionable" music and TV content or something at a government level when he was first VP? Does anyone else remember her doing this? I applaud what he's doing, but still.....what short memories we all have. But I do respect a lot of what he's done for the environment and I love how Al can laugh at himself - I was hoping he would make some crack about "Well, ok, maybe I didn't invent the internet after all, but I swear, I helped invent this channel!" Oh well....

15) I like that Kristin chick from E! who did the Red Carpet. She's actually smart and quick on her feet, which is what that role needs. I could see hanging out with her. She seemed genuinely interested in the folks she was interviewing, while Giuliana Rancic has some awkward pauses and could not banter with them quite as well.

16) I am coveting Sandra Oh's Bottega Veneta body hugging black strapless number with the tulle bustline trim. I'm also coveting an occasion to wear it.