A Tale of Two Sauces

Well, a publisher has decided they would like to learn more about my closet memoir in the making, A Tale of Two Sauces: An Italian American Gal's Quest to Get it Right. Finally, those hilarious childhood anecdotes might see the light of day. I've pitched this as a tamer Sex and the City meets My Big Fat Greek Wedding - with less sex and more sass. My family, after all WILL be reading this. Mostly it's about my growing up sandwiched between Old World Italian values and new world urban "career girl" realities. It will be a book of humorous and poignant essays about growing up Italian in a post-feminist, modern America and how I finally came to peace reconciling this storied past heritage with the woman I am today.

I'm still working on the proposal but wish me luck, as I'm sending it to the piblisher next week if all goes according to plan! Would love to be able to honor my family and heritage in this way. Stay tuned....I'm hoping to chronicle the writing adventures here as I go.

Encouraging Women and Making Our Daughters Strong

Man or woman, please sign the petition to get the new bill on creating a Commission for Women passed. The last commission on women was during JFK's term, but would be great to get it going again. I'm not necessarily a radical feminist, but the commission would cover areas such as education/training, domestic violence prevention, pay equality, and encouraging more women to participate in government and corporate leadership positions. This is good for ALL of us, not just women.

View the entire text of the bill here.

Nell Merlino, CEO of Count Me In and general rabble rouser and activist (she coordinated the first Take Our Daughters to Work Day) just wrote an inspiring book called "Stepping Out Of Line: Lessons for Women Who Want it Their Way In Life, In Love and At Work." She's a friend of a friend and I went to her Seattle book signing - just finished the book. It's fabulous. The one thing that stuck with me was that women today - right now - need to be an example to our daughters, nieces and students. We can't just hope "things are better for them" or live quiet, unhappy lives and hope they go on to live their passions. Girls do what we do, say what we say.

After reading her book, I saw this clearly in terms of my own niece, Angelina. She's 3, but I want her to know she can do anything. But to get that message across, I have to live that same life as an example - not just talk the talk. Many moms, aunts, and grandmothers out there really want their daughters to "have it all" but don't go after it themselves. That is a tragedy. Of the genders, females tend to mimic more than males (Merlino references a study in her book about how female babies can mimic adult faces 400 times more than male babies). So we women, here, today, now need to be that example for them.

And women who stay in abusive realtionships but want their daughters to escape that life need to get out of the relationship - they can't just TELL their daughter to not fall into the same trap. They need to live the example. I saw this time and again when volunteering at a domestic violence shelter. We need more education, training, and role models for girls to realize there are other options out there - and to show them what healthy, successful, loving relationships should look like.

Again, I have never been a radical feminist. I believe women should have a choice if they want to work or stay home. Motherhood is just as noble and valued as any other profession - if not more so. I grew up that way and had a fantastic childhood that I treasure. What I am saying is that women can't teach their daughters to go after their dreams if they themselves don't go after them. So ladies, make sure you are living your life deliberately and with purpose and passion to show our girls what is possible.

Let's get this women's commission bill passed!

Introducing Red Slice Brand Slice

Programming note to all the fans: the Red Slice blog will continue to deliver fun, sassy content around food, wine, film and trash talk. But I've launched a new blog to focus on marketing and branding.

Introducing Red Slice Brand Slice!

Here you'll find the same sassy attitude focused on the world of marketing. Musings and observations on what companies are doing, great ideas being implemented and general Seinfeld-esque discussions ("What is the deal with Pay per Clicks?"). This new blog can also be found from the new Red Slice LLC company website set to launch on June 27th - that's Friday, baby, yeah!!

So remember: Red Slice blog for urban life fun and frolic; Red Slice Brand Slice for marketing-based fun and frolic.

Feedback welcome.....

Chicks Rule

I had the rare opportunity to go to two very special women-oriented events in the last two weeks. And overall, I am amazed at how many smart, sassy, creative women exist in this world - and how over the past few months, I have been blessed to have them in my world.

First up: Make Mine a Million $ Business - Seattle event

This organization out of NY has a nationwide network and events in many cities where they bring speakers and content to women entrepreneurs. But the piece de resistance is the contest they run in each city where 16 women business owners must deliver an elevator pitch on why they deserve to win the Make Mine a Million $ Business 2008 Award, which offers them mentors, free advice, technical and other support by big sponsors like Dell, Cisco and Amex and overall a huge wealth of resources to help them grow to a million in revenue.

Sixteen local women took the stage to pitch their business and why they should win in only 3 minutes. The businesses ranged from marketing agencies to affirmation blankets to promotional items to a school for animal massage. Not sure when they entered the contest, but it was prior to the event and so they had received coaching on presentation skills and content prior to the big day. It was electric to be in an audience of 400 supportive, proud, successful women and want to root for them, and not be pitted against then as women often are in life.

We heard from WA state governor Christine Gregoire; Anne Levinson, one of the 4 women who now own the Seattle Storm WNBA Basketball team; Valerie Morris, an award winning journalist from CNN who moderated a lot of the events; and we even had an emcee known as a "journey agent" named Isasara Bay who used to be the VP of Corp Affairs of Sony Music and is now a consultant. Other highlights included past award winners; a consultant named Simon Sinek who did a wonderful presentation on being a "Why?" organization and not a "What?" organization to better create customer loyalty and be a cause rather than a company (a la Apple); and Nely Galan, Latina media dynamo, founder of Galavision, and recent contestant on Celebrity Apprentice. This chick is full of spicy advice for how to be innovative, jump on opportunity and get ahead in life.

Overall, I was left empowered by what women can do when we put our minds to things. The sky really is the limit.

Second, my client The Broader View held their inaugural workshop for women at the top who are looking for what's next.

Over 40 of Seattle's top women - CEOs, philanthropists, business owners, etc gathered in the beautiful Columbia Club high atop Seattle with a view to die for and heard inspiration and thought-provoking soul food. We heard from Catherine Meeks, an electric, strong, African American professor, scholar, author and motivational speaker talk about celebrating how far we've come and acknowledging our own inner voice as we move forward into whatever is next in our lives. She used Maya Angelou's poem "Still I Rise" as the foundation of her talk. Some of her gems:

• Your mind gets in the way. Listen to your heart.
• Negative voices – we all have them, but we need to make choices about what to do with them
• We live in a world where no one knows what women are all about so they put us in our place and if we “forget” our place they jump on us
• Rheumatoid Arthritis (what Catherine has at age 62 and has had for 20 years) could have defined me, or made me a “cripple”. Instead, I choose to see it as my best teacher. It taught me to say “no” to things that would drain my energy and to take care of myself, to treasure taking care of ME before I could do anything for others
• People don’t really want to listen to what’s in their heart – especially if they are successful. They think they have no right to this, that they are being selfish. When really everyone just has a fractured person inside of them looking for a warm blanket. No amount of success or blessings shields us from those feelings sometimes. Material things do not speak to the hunger of the heart, so no one is immune. We need to be sisters to each other so we have a place to fall apart
• It's okay to have nervous breakdowns on the weekends. I find I’m in a much better place on Monday if I let myself cry in a ball sometimes!
• Carl Jung talked about “individuation” – which is the process of separating the particular from the general. We are not “everywoman” but our own woman. We need to know where others stop and we begin.
• We put on a persona of ourselves to the world, but behind that is a “shadow” – these are things we haven’t encountered yet (our unconscious). But there is untapped wealth there if we pay attention and do not ignore it or try to hide it. Fragmented people are those who are indecisive and don’t know who they are – they try to ignore or bury their Shadows. If you do this, you’ll live as half of a person, you won’t allow new things to come up.
• You must let things die in order to give birth to new things. This is the cycle of change and growth. All change is a death in a way. Before you allow rebirth, you have to make space for it. So let things die. New things will be born.
• What message do I need to get from the people in my life that I think I don’t want there? What is in my energy system that attracts these people and thoughts?
• Listen to your inner voice and respond to the repetitive messages – they are trying to tell you something!
• “Energy vampires” they take without you knowing (not necessarily bad people). So be careful who you tell your dreams to. Tell them to people who get it, and choose not to discuss with people who don’t – doesn’t mean you have to cut them out of your life if you don’t want to.
• Figure out how to replenish. Where is your energy going? What is the clutter in your soul weighing you down? What is the baggage holding you down?
• Journal, journal, journal and reflect
• We live in a culture that doesn’t want us to pay attention, to be still, to reflect. We must ignore that pressure and take the time we need.
• What does your heart require? What brings you joy and peace? YOU DECIDE, not the culture, not your parents, not your co-workers, but YOU.
• Gratitude and generosity creates space and open up energy.

Then, Carrie & Danielle, who I've blogged about before, talked about Style Statement and living your authentic life. Defining who you are on your own terms and not letting all the noise or other distraction prevent you from being who you really are. They asked some very thought-provoking questions that are often the key to understanding who we are and what makes us happy - and that leads to us knowing how to best give back to the world in which we live.

I met some amazing women in the last two weeks that I hope to help and who I hope will help me on my next journey. The possibilities are endless when you open yourself up to them and quiet the voices in your head enough to listen to their call.

SHOP '08: Inspiration on a Rainy Day

Yesterday I had the good fortune to be in a room with over 100 women for 8 hours - and I wanted to hear every one of their zany and inspirational stories. How often do you get to attend a conference where everyone in the room is an interesting person? Exactly.

I'm talking about SHOP '08, a conference for independent women business owners here in Seattle. Networking diva and my new best friend Melody Biringer brought together women who have launched everything from eco-boutiques to consulting businesses to crafts shops to catered meals on the go to production companies to design firms to spas to you name it. The day featured panels for each session, not just one speaker, which offered a triple play of content for each hour. I even got to moderate a panel in a pinch when the fabulous Kelley L. Moore, lifestyle editor, could not make it due to illness (I'm not one for questioning opportunities when they land at my feet - I just snatch them up). My panel was "How to Turn Your Passion into Profit" featuring gorgeous smarties Anne-Marie Faiola of Bramble Berry, Larisa Goldin of DreamClinic and Rachel Brandzel of Real Card Company. Other panel topics ranged from to "Capital with Confidence - Decreasing your costs and improving your bottom line to "Be True to Your Brand - Do you have a business soul?" to Building Your Brand" to HELP! Can you build me a website?" All of the panels were chock full of sage wisdom from women who bear the scars and want to save you the hassle.

I thoroughly enjoyed the branding discussion (brand diva that I like to think I am) and the focused point that "Brand is not just a logo." Amen, sisters. Founder Sharelle Klaus of Dry Soda has created a lifestyle brand that is elegant and cool - all from her dilemma of not being able to drink wine when she was pregnant. They are so fanatical about their luxury, sophisticated brand, they carefully choose the types of paper clips used in the office. I think I've totally found my people. Oh, and their Rhubarb soda zips along your tongue like a firefly on a hot summer night in Eastern Long Island. Now I know why the French Laundry serves Dry Soda (and why they won't let discount blue box chains of which we will not speak sell them and spoil the brand image - at least not yet.)

Overall, it was a great day of inspiration and wisdom that I will not soon forget - both for the content and the lively connections I made. This beats my old IT/Application Development/Data Warehousing trade shows I was forced to endure for so many years where attendees care more about which booth has better free giveaways than the actual content presented. Thanks Ladies!

Ladies Who Launch: Who Knew?

Stepping into the foray of entrepreneursip with the birth of my consultancy, Red Slice, has opened up a whole new world to me. A world of LLC documentation, checks to the Secretary of State, business bank accounts, and more than a weekly need to speak to an accountant or lawyer. Who knew this land existed? Well, apparently lots of people.

While my grandparents all came to this country and managed to open their own businesses with little English skills and lots of gumption, my immediate family has always been a "Do one thing and retire with the gold watch" kind of gang. My dad worked for over 25 years at the same company, doing the work he loved best: engineering. We may have felt more comfortable with the establishment-type jobs, but not at the expense of doing something you hated. And come to think of it, my Uncle owned his own business and so did one of my brothers for a time - so maybe it's in our genes somewhere.

I always envied those people who were like, "I have this kooky idea..." and then 3 months later, there's a storefront on Union Street and a shout out in Daily Candy. I felt like they were inducted into some mystical world; a place I would never understand, navigate or see. "I like security, paying my rent and buying expensive wine," I told myself comfortingly.

Ha.

A whole new world has opened up for me since hanging out my shingle. A world where ideas become reality just because someone can show you the steps you need to take. And those steps are reasonable and possible in and of themselves - you just need to break things down. A world where people come up with ideas and do something with them, not just talk and talk. A world where there are experts to turn to, sites to visit for advice, and never a shortage of folks who are more than happy to show you their scars and help you avoid your own.

I'm talking the world of entrepreneurship.

I had the divine pleasure of freshly completing a 4-week session called The Incubator, thrown by Ladies Who Launch. Ladies Who Launch is a nationwide resource and connection network for women who want to "start" anything: a business, a book, a new travel venture. Basically women who want to make a positive change in their life and build their career or personal life in the way that best suits them, rather than forcing themselves into a life that doesn't fit. Their motto: Creativity and Entrepreneurship as a Lifestyle.

For 4 weeks, women in your city come together (small groups) to gather support, find energy, gain encouragement, network and share resources on whatever initiative they want to launch. We work through our ideas, verbalize them, and paint a vision for others. I had low expectations, ranging from "This will be a business plan course" to "This will be a female whine-fest" to "This will be like therapy or a really painful episode of Dr. Phil."

Surprisingly, I was wrong, wrong, wrong - and a little bit right in a good way. I found a group of women sharing their career (and often personal) dreams, fleshing out their business ideas, offering advice and feedback, sharing resources and ultimately, cheering each other on. It often felt so bizarre, like something unreal. And then I figured out why: I had never in my entire career been in a group of women who encouraged each other to brag, who did not judge when others celebrated success, who had no ulterior motives for helping each other. No one thought Susie talked too much about herself or Sally thought she was "all that" - this behavior was encouraged and celebrated. And how sad that this positive experience is not what we women in the workplace have created for ourselves. The Glass Ceiling be damned - 9 times out of 10, I have seen women be the saboteurs of other women, whether through talking behind their back, being cruel just to show they were tough, gossiping or holding a gal's own success against her lest she think "she's better than everyone else." This negativity has nothing to do with men, ladies.

The 8 women in my group ranged from current business owners looking to branch out, corporate types wanting to make a change but not sure how, women who were trying to find a way to build a business out of their passionate talents, and those who had a vision of a business venture but had never been encouraged or assisted in pursuing it. Most of all, women who are tired of being scared, or bored, or concerned with "what other people thought" and who want to start living their lives for the only human that will judge them on their death bed: themselves.

In just 4 weeks, I bonded with these women in a way I often do not with gal pals. I now consider them all close confidantes, my own personal and professional Board of Directors, who I will consult and give back to as long as they will let me. Because of them, I now have more clarity around what I want Red Slice to be, what clients I want to pursue, and more importantly, I feel more than ever that some of my crazy ideas and schemes (opening a wine bar someday) are POSSIBLE. People open businesses every day and, damn it, I can figure it out, too!

Ladies out there, if you have the opportunity to make a change or have an idea to build a business, I highly encourage you to sign up for the Incubator in your city. You will be oh so surprised at what you find in these other women - and in yourself.

PS - and by the way, starting up my own thing means living on a budget for a while. So I'm halting the expensive wines - but only for a bit. Paring back in and of itself is cathartic and eye-opening so it's just another unexpected blessing from this new phase.