Rant Rattle and Roll: Global (not) Warming

Seattle apparently is experiencing its worst "coming out of winter" weather in years. So I'm told. It's been raining, it's been cold, and this past weekend, we actually had hail. HAIL.

This, after the tease of 70 degree weather the Saturday before. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may or they might freeze on the bush tomorrow.

Before I lived here, I visited here. Many times. And it can be utterly gorgeous in this city when the sun deems us worthy to shine upon. But no, our first winter/spring living here and it blows.

Well, Mother Nature is kicking my ass and I'm not gonna take it anymore. Last week, I got a pedicure, closed toe shoes be damned. And this weekend I wore a tank top. That's right, I said it. It's hailing outside and I wore a tank top (well, and a coat of course, but that's beside the point). The point is, I have rows of open-toed strappy sandals and sassy platforms dying of neglect. Bitter and confused, they stare at me from the dark depths of my closet like ex-lovers wantonly discarded for something better. "But didn't we have such a great time at that new restaurant in the Mission? Didn't you feel proud when someone complimented you because of us camel-colored 60's hoochie mama sandals at the cast party last fall? What have we done to deserve this? We give and give....." And little do they know I am so over wearing boots.

Spring will be here soon - the sun is out today and most likely, it will be a gorgeous weekend since we'll be elsewhere. But soon, soon, the clouds will part and the sunny Seattle I know exists will shine down on us once again. So just hang in there, lovely stilletos. Mama's coming......

Rant, Rattle and Roll: Stop Sign Chaos

Brace yourself. This might be unexpected news for many of you who know me well. I am pretty sure that, from a very early age - from the time I was 6 and grabbed the mike at my brother's confirmation party to belt out "Rhinestone Cowboy (twang, twang) - and up to and including the present, people may have briefly flirted with the idea that...well...I might be a drama queen.

I'm in my mid 30's now, so instead of being offended, I think I'm just going to embrace it.

In that spirit, I present a new little snippet on the Red Slice blog: Rant, Rattle and Roll. It's my way of offering a light sample of the "woe is me", put upon vibe my poor husband endures (and luckily, laughs at) on a daily basis. These episodes are often extinguished rather rapidly when I turn on the World News and realize my life is pretty damn good and I should shut up and count my blessings. Still, ya gotta admit: it IS fun to rant a little.

Today's rant: People who can't figure out 4-way stop signs.

I seem to recall this being a very important lesson when I took Driver's Ed. Whoever is at the stop sign goes first. If two of you get there at the exact same moment, you yield to the driver on the right. Simple. Done. Boom, Right?

Wrong. Put aside the "But what if all FOUR people get to the sign at the same time?" Slow down, Sparky: A) that ain't ever gonna happen and B) let's get the 2-car yielding down right first before we tackle the next level, shall we?

Did they take this question off the test? Is this a rule that was suddenly abolished during the dot.com boom? Why can't people get it right?!?! And I've got news for you, especially Mr. Schlobbo in the Hyundai in Queen Anne the other day: it's who gets to the sign first, not the fact that you were behind the first turning car before I got to my corner. You don't get to go right behind the guy in front of you just because he took so long. Sheesh. I bet you don't use turn signals either, but that's for another bedtime story.

Rant accomplished. Ok, now back to more important things like life, liberty and vodka tonics.