I Hate When Meg Ryan Has a Point

Do you remember the scene in "You've Got Mail" where Meg Ryan laments to her email-lover (unknown to her to be Tom Hanks) that she hates rude confrontations where she is left speechless and then, hours later, tries to think up some perfect comeback "zinger" she should have used? I had two such moments this weekend. One with my home builder (who, until I get the issue resolved, I will refrain from mentioning) and one from some crazy chick in the movie theatre.

Those who know me know I am not usually at a loss for words. Comes from years of honing my Ninja-like responses to my older brothers' teasing and sarcasm. But sometimes I act so accomodating in the moment, revert subconsciously to a good little Catholic girl - and then get pissed at myself for not saying something meant to put someone in their place.

Forget about the specifics of both cases. One was just someone who tried to guilt me into feeling badly for calling when his personal issue had absolutely no bearing on his responsibility to me. He completely tried to blur the issue by making me feel I was inconveniencing him and I thought, "Don't be heartless, be understanding" so I fell for it hook, line and sinker. Only later I realized the manipulation that had taken place- and I was pissed I wasn't more direct and demanding with him. I SHOULD have calmly said, "With all due respect, that has nothing to do with me. If you had called me back 2 weeks ago when you were supposed to, or if you had already fixed the problem, I wouldn't be calling right now, so let's not act like this is the reason you can't honor your responsibility, shall we? Now, when are you coming to fix the door?" Some people are so good at not only turning the situation around to avoid the real issue, but have a knack for making the other person apologize for it in the end. Wow, what a skill. Not only do I make you feel bad for my breaking into your home, I'm actually going to have you apologize for not leaving the doors unlocked, thus causing me pain and suffering at having to break the window. While the situation was not quite this tragic, it does make you feel like a naive sap.

The second case was just of someone who, as my husband likes to put it, is not self-aware. Not everyone in the world is doing something that annoys you on purpose. You are not that important, relax. And why did I act all apologetic , as if she acted appropriately? To the lady at "The Golden Compass" this weekend who practically hit me and annoyingly told me to sit down or move (at the end of the movie, lights up. trying to leave our row with everyone else - yeah, I know...) because she was desperately trying to read the credits, here's what I SHOULD have said: "Miss, a) no need to hit me, just ask politely, b) you are not so significant in my life that I planned throughout the entire 2 hours to think of ways to piss you off, and c) if knowing that Ian McKellan was the voice of the ice bear who has a whisky problem was THAT important, here's 4 letters for you: I. M. D. B. (.com)."

I guess sometimes it feels like you are the one being taken advantage of, and other times it feels like people are oversensitive about you taking advantage of them. I guess overall it is better to be nice and regret not being mean, then to be mean and regret not being nice (peace on earth, good will towards men, and all of that.) Ay yay yay. I think I'm as guilty as anyone in the end but really....can we hope to stop wars abroad when we can't even get along at a Disney picture? Sheesh. Let's all go get a drink already and calm the heck down.