"Law and Order" is Laced with Crack

Can someone please explain to me how the hell "L&O" lures you into it's greedy clutches, hypnotizes you for an hour, and renders your legs paralyzed, leaving you physically unable to divert your attention and get up from your coach for hours on end - even if you have babies crying or water boiling over on the stove?

When the natural disaster strikes, screw canned goods and jugs of water: I want an endless supply of "Law and Order" episodes - and that includes all said franchises of Criminal Intent, SVU or just the good ole' fashioned original (which BTW debuted in 1990 - that's eighteen years ago! Kids born when this baby hit the screen are now eligible to vote.) And I bet they're learned more about police procedure and constitutional law from this show than in any classroom.

Nothing is as powerful as a story, well-told and this hit factory is a testament to that fact. The show's original tagline was "The Story is Everything" and man, is that true. Through countless cast changes, save for the lovely and talented S. Epatha Merkerson as the hard-hitting, calm in the face of insanity Lt. Van Buren, this show is all about story. It subscribes to the fundamentals of strong plot development and follows the same formula in each show: Strong, surprising start reveals the crime and sucks you in immediately; police investigation leads them from one clue to the other until the criminal is (sometimes seemingly) caught and an arrest is made; DA's office readies their case and uncovers more clues and plot twists; and we end in court where justice is sometimes served, something not, or something extraordinary happens to twist things up.

The rotating bevy of beauties that have played ADA's over the years has had hits and misses. Hits: Angie Harmon, Jill Hennessey, current hottie-smartie Alana de la Garza. Misses: Elisabeth Rohm (My 7-year old nephew reads lines from a script with more believability.) And the police detectives have had their share of home runs and strike outs in their rotation as well: Jesse Martin, newcomer Jeremy Sisto, Mr. Big Chris Noth (who I'm so glad to see back on CI) lethal duo Mariska Hargitay and Chis Meloni from SVU, and the irreplaceable Jerry Orbach. But hopefully someone got fired (or is getting fired) over casting the wooden Milena Govich or the current talented but unbelievably miscast CI chick Alicia Witt. And my most recent twist of a surprise: Linus Roache as ADA Michael Cutter on the regular L&O - I HATED him on his first episode and thought his character (and, I have to admit, he as an actor) was tight, unemotional and arrogant. But I have come to just love his multi-faceted performance that reveals more of his personality in each episode we see.

The other amusing part of viewing hours upon hours of old L&O's? The shows are a veritable rite of passage for now more famous actors. I'm always amazed at who has passed through the police station or court on these shows - and I love it when I see the ones that do the rounds of ALL the shows in the franchise. One guy was a murderer in one episode and a recuring CSU technician in another. Neat! He gets to be on both sides of the law.

Oh, and for fun - shout out to the unsung hero of the franchise: The voice that brings us the iconic, "In the criminal justice system....." opening narration: a guy named Steven Zirnkilton. Is there anything more delicious than rain falling outside while you snuggle by the fire in a handmade quilt and hear that sultry voice that ends with: "These are there stories. (thonk thonk)" Mmmmmm.....24-hour marathon, here I come!

In my dreams of a parallel life as an actress, I would give my right arm to have a career that spanned 18 years on a brilliantly written, high-quality, expertly acted show and stay under the paparazzi radar. Thank you, Dick Wolf, for creating such a masterpiece that never panders and never forgets that the story is indeed everything.